A Southern Fried Mess

Insanity is a southern necessity…

Why is it?

Since the dawn of time, the female species has forever  been attracted to the brooding male. I mean as soon as you show us one, we go all stupid and throw any common sense we might have had straight out the window. Why is that?

Is it because  we feel the need to sooth his dark, tortured soul?  Or, in the case of Hollywood, could it be because of his rugged good looks and lack of conversational skills and table manners (and sometimes his lack of any kind of acting ability)? Is it the danger factor  they represent? The bad boy who refuses to conform and blows cigarette smoke in the face of authority?

I think it has to do with this stupid little emotion placed in us women called Nurturing. Kind of a Florence Nightingale syndrome. The woman feels an uncontrollable desire to help and comfort the so called hurting male.  Much like a mother will hold and protect an upset child. It’s what we were made for after all… to be the ‘help mate’ for the male species.

We feel we can it is our duty to change him too in this process of  ‘helping’.  Mold him into a new, happier, better person. One who will join Green Peace and sort the recyclables; one who will want to carry on long meaningful conversations about feelings while watching a lifetime movie. One who will put the toilet seat down after he’s relieved himself, replace the empty toilet paper roll, and actually put his dirty cloths in the hamper.   Of course what we failed to realize is, you insane women, if  we did that we would no longer be attracted to him.

I also think it may have  to do with our reproductive genes and their tiny little brains.  Our genes seem to think that one brooding male equals secretiveness and that in turn equals danger. Women like danger. And danger will equal strength. Strength means survival and strong genetic offspring and thus deserves our attraction and attention. How stupid. See, I told you that we loose all control of our common sense.

All the above sprang up from my current reading of The Picture Of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde.  I found myself strangely rooting for Dorian. Even though he committed some very unspeakable, cruel acts throughout the story like murder amongst other very distasteful things.  I couldn’t understand why I was attracted to him.  And honestly, I’m still not really sure why.  Maybe because my common sense went flying out the window the first time he  picked up a cigarette, ran his fingers through his long hair, and began brooding.

June 29, 2010 Posted by | books, humor, life, Uncategorized | , , | 2 Comments

Where’s Chloe?

My son and I went on a field trip with his class some weeks back. We went to visit an old plantation. During the entire tour, the guide kept going on and on about the ghost that inhabit the house. She must have mentioned the word at least 40 times just in the parlor alone. It got to be so funny that my son and I started snickering…which only annoyed the lady to no end.

Anyway, when  I downloaded my photos later I thought it would be funny to put my own ghost in one of the  pictures of the house. I picked the ghost of Chloe, a house slave who supposedly murdered the children of one of the former owners way back when.

So  I hunted down an old photo of a former slave woman and then proceeded to photo shop her in.   What you have is the finished picture before you. Can you find her? She really isn’t hard to find. Have fun!

June 1, 2010 Posted by | black and white photos, humor, kids, photography, plantations, Uncategorized | , , , | 3 Comments