Go’in Cold Turkey
Well, It was bound to happen and it would be foolish to say that I didn’t know it was coming. I tried to hold onto her for as long as possible, but all sweet little girls must grow up. What am I rambling on about? My youngest daughter…she’s started school and I’m about to cry.
I knew I was on borrowed time these last few months. I knew it from the get go when I placed her name on the waiting list. She’s my last child; my baby. I didn’t realize how hard this was going to be for me. I mean I didn’t get this emotional when my other children started school. I actually think I was a little overjoyed…just a little. I guess it was because I knew that even though they were all going to be at school, my youngest was still with me. But she’s not anymore.
I haven’t been ‘alone’ by myself at home in over 13yrs, and I’m not sure what to do with my time. The first few days were hard…very hard. The house is soooo quiet, that it’s almost spooky. My mind keeps acting as if my daughter is still at home too. To the point that I even made her a sandwich for lunch one day, only to call her name out and realize that she wasn’t there.
I now know what those parents of one or two kids must have felt when their kid started school full time. I used to think they were nuts. I mean who cries and gets that upset when the kid heads off to school? He’s just going to school. Well, I understand where they’re coming from now.
And so here I am….alone in this big, spooky old house by myself with no cute curly-headed, little angel ( or devil depending on how curly her hair was) to keep me safe.
I miss her.
I guess I will go and clean the house again—for the thousandth time today—while I wait for the sound of the bus rounding the street corner.
Hurry up school bell and ring!!!!