A Southern Fried Mess

Insanity is a southern necessity…

LOST! a.k.a. stupid cat


The day after Christmas our beloved stupid cat, Milo, disappeared. You know the one that I’m talking about; the stray that showed up underneath the hood of my car a few months back.   Gone. Just up and vanished.  The kids and I searched everywhere and asked everyone, but no cat.

We made signs and posted them at the corner store and plastered every telephone pole in sight with his image. Even the mailboxes weren’t safe from our homemade signs.  Still no one called; no one had seen him.

Elderly neighbors  tried to reassure us that he was just out “Tom-ing around”.  I kept telling them I thought he wasn’t old enough to do that—he’s not even a year old.  Male cats don’t discover that aspect of life until they’re at least a year old. But  still they insisted.

One neighbor had commented that he had seen this very cat one highway over from us—was sure of it.  That put  a little bit of hope in our spirits… for a split second. That was until the man changed his mind and the highway,twice.  I think he was just trying to be nice.

Anyway, we put the cat out of our minds for the time being and went on our mini vacation.  I had accepted the idea that Milo was  gone and not coming back.  I thought someone must have picked him up and taken him home with them or a stray dog or wild animal had eaten him.  Still somewhere deep inside I held out hope as did the kids.

The night we arrived home from our trip, my son went to get his shoes out of the car with my middle daughter in tow.  She came running inside replying that they had heard the cat ‘meowing’.  I didn’t give much mind to the sudden hearing of his voice. I just chalked it up to kids wishful thinking, but she insisted. So I got up off the sofa and put my shoes on.

I called out the cat’s name and lo and behold the dumb thing answered me.  The sound was coming from the woods across the street. I called again and he answered again, the sound getting closer. I hollered a third time and then asked my oldest to fetch a flashlight.

Sure enough, there was a cat across the street just on the other side of a swollen ditch.  Oh, did I mention that it was raining out and that I was in my PJ’s ? Sorry…it must have slipped my mind.

I waited until the highway was free of cars and headed across.  Naturally, I wasn’t paying attention as to where I was stepping and almost fell down the embankment into the water.  I  caught myself, got my footing, and shined the flashlight in the direction of the meowing.  A pair of eyes met mine.  It was Milo and he was hurt.

I crossed the ditch, stepping in the muddy water as it was to wide for me to jump at my age .  Oh, I’m sure that I could have made it if I had really wanted too, but I didn’t want to chance falling into the barbed wire fence. The cat wasn’t worth all that.

I carried him home—both of us soaking wet—much to the extreme excitement of my children.  It was a miracle! Prayers had been answered; their cat had returned. I grabbed a towel and began drying him off. I have never heard that cat purr so loudly before.  It sounded like a jet plane had just landed in the middle of my bathroom.

The stupid cat had gotten hit by a car on the back leg, breaking it and his pelvis.  He walks around now with his rear end dragging.  Only once did he roll down the stairs, catching himself before he got too far. I tried not to laugh.  He didn’t find it funny and he let me know this too. He bit me.  I apologized.

The stupid cat Milo now has a long road to recovery, but he will get to the end, I’ve no doubt.  You see, this isn’t the first cat I’ve had with this problem. He’s actually the third.  This is also the reason why we’ve opted not to take him to the vet.  I can’t afford to spend over a hundred dollars for x-rays  just to have someone tell me what I already know.

He’s got feeling in both feet and tail and can move them just a little. He can also do his ‘business’ in the potty box which is a major plus (except for the trail of litter he drags out).  It means no organ damage.  His appetite is healthy too, but naturally he wants you to bring the food to him instead of the other way around.

So it seems all is well that ends well…or something like that.

Stupid cat……  🙂


January 5, 2009 - Posted by | family, humor, kids, life, Uncategorized |


  1. Sounds too familiar… I hope Milo heals up quickly!

    Thanks, annie. Today he half-walked on his rear legs and it’s killing him that he has to stay inside. He’ll sit at the door and beg to be let out.
    Thanks for stopping by!
    God bless

    Comment by annie | January 5, 2009 | Reply

  2. Aren’t all cats stupid 🙂

    every cat I’ve run across has proven this theory….. course I’m not sure who’s the more ‘stupider’ here…the fool cat in the rain or the foolish human who went after it.

    Comment by morethananelectrician | January 6, 2009 | Reply

  3. Yikes! Sorry to hear about Milo and I hope he recovers soon. And I hope you didn’t get sick being out in the rain.

    Nope, I’m fine. The cat being inside is driving me crazy, though. He keeps ‘scooting’ everywhere and how he got on the stair landing last night, I have no Idea.

    Comment by bluesuit12 | January 6, 2009 | Reply

  4. Missed you, my friend…So glad Milo is safe and home. I’m also glad you are safe and home…
    Come on over for some coffee…

    love you, barb
    Barb, honey, I would more than love for the two of us to sit at your kitchen table, drink coffee, and chat up a storm about nothing at all. Thank you for the invite….your such a blessing 😉

    Comment by 6justmyopinion | January 6, 2009 | Reply

  5. Hey Scottie,

    I don’t love cats, but I do love your story. You’ll be pleased to know, I’m staying with a friend, and I read the story out while she fed the baby. We both laaaaaaughed our heads off down here in Sydney !!!

    Keep writing!

    Stupid cat.

    I’m glad to be of service to you…hope you got a good laugh. 🙂 Hey, thanks for stopping by too!

    Comment by Aussie | January 8, 2009 | Reply

  6. Aw, that’s a great story! Poor little Milo though. I’m glad you were able to find him. I wonder when he was hit by a car? It’s great that he survived. 🙂

    Remember the calico my parents fed that had baby kittens? While I was in law school, Mom took the Calico (now called Momma) to get fixed (when the kittens were old enough to be without her.) When she brought her back, Momma ran off with all 3 kittens that night. She didn’t come back for 3 days! (Apparently couldn’t find food anywhere else.)

    We just took 2 of the kittens to be fixed yesterday (they are old enough now). I’m wondering if when we bring them back, they will all disappear again?

    Comment by Dube | January 10, 2009 | Reply

  7. And I just realized that every time I write about my cats, I sound like I’m 10 years old. LOL.

    Comment by Dube | January 10, 2009 | Reply

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