A Southern Fried Mess

Insanity is a southern necessity…

Generation gaps

calvin A friend of mine called me yesterday to see if I would watch her twin boys as the school and daycare facilities were going to be closed for election day. I must also make mention that both of them, she and her husband, work.

Anyway, she went on to explain that her oldest daughter was not feeling good and therefore couldn’t handle the responsibility of watching Thing 1 and Thing 2 (Dr. Seuss…).

Never having been one to say ‘no’ to someone in need, I told her that I  wouldn’t mind watching  them.  This wasn’t entirely true; I fibbed a tiny bit. While I’ve never had a bit of trouble handling her boys, I wasn’t really in the mood to take on more kids. Besides getting out at some point today and voting, I’m having to also get the house ready for ‘show’ for some potential buyers. And with my own kids out of school this was already going too prove to be a feat of wills, but I told her to bring them on over. Truthfully, dealing with  children has never been a problem for me. Adults, yes—kids no.

Well, I woke up this morning with the mind set of having a house full of kids, but  it didn’t happen. She called about 15minutes after she was due to show up (7 am) with some news.  Seems her daughter was running a  high fever and she was going to have to bring her in to see the doctor.

” Looks like she might have strep throat….”

No sooner than she had spoken these words did she tell me that she would be late bringing the boys over cause she had to wait for the doctor’s office to open.  Now, here’s where I got confused.  She was still planning on bringing her other children over for me to watch…the same kids that were exposed to their sick sister….after she (the mom) was already going to miss a half day’s work with the doctor visit.

Now,their family is on the higher end of middle class and there is really no need for her to work; the don’t need the money. But, she was determined to go instead of taking a day–one day– off to tend to her kids.   I’m baffled by today’s society and I don’t understand this. Not the least bit.

It appears to me that they  (society) are so willing to pawn off their kids and the responsibility  that comes in raising them to someone else ,even a total stranger if necessary, so long as it means they can do what they (the parents)  want in the end.

She was a bit taken back when I told her not to bring her ‘exposed’ kids over. I explained that we have field trips coming up all this week and I have photo shoots planned for next week.  We didn’t need to be getting sick.

“Oh….”

I don’t feel that I was being mean. Do you think I was being mean?  She was quiet for a moment on the other end of the phone as I suggested that she just go ahead and take the day off.  It was almost as if I was speaking a different language and her translator wasn’t working. Then she spoke and said that maybe she could…only because she couldn’t find anyone else to watch her kids as Grandma was out of town. My friend really didn’t want to stay home with her OWN children and was willing to get my kids sick in the process if it meant she could go to work. You could hear the disappointment in her voice.

I don’t get today’s mothers. I even encountered this with the Girl Scout moms the other night. They  were longing for the day when  they could put their kids in daycare and get back to work. Why bother having children if you don’t want to take the time to raise them?!  No wonder kids are so screwed up these days.  Every Tom, Dick, and Harriet in  Hilliary’s village is raising them instead of the parents.

Now, there is quite an age difference between my friend and I as well with the Girl Scout moms–  About 9 years or so— and maybe this plays into the mix.  They’re of a different generation apparently. Either that or I’m a dinosaur  left over from the dawn of time and have been living in my own little world for too long.

I love my friend to death and she’s such a blessing, but I just don’t understand where her train of thought is coming from. Do you? Could someone please explain this to me? Am I all alone in my belief?

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November 4, 2008 - Posted by | family, kids, life, Uncategorized | , ,

7 Comments »

  1. You’re treading on thin ice here.

    Didn’t anyone tell you there are three things you shouldn’t bring up without the wrath of the blog-o-sphere dropping on you like a hurricane from the gulf ? (I thought you’d understand that metaphor best. )

    The list…
    1. Abortion
    2. Politics
    3. Stay at home moms v. Working moms.

    It was nice knowing you… 🙂

    BTW, everyone has their own priorities. It is hard to see things from the other person’s perspective. She might have a hard time looking at things like you do also.

    Chicken! 🙂
    Let me say first, that I’m not knocking moms who want to work outside of the house. BUT when your child is sick, is earning that fifty bucks or whatever for the one day, minus taxes, and gas cost, and paying the sitter/daycare really worth it? Especially when you’ve already missed half of a day and you don’t need the money???? IT’S ONE DAY. Sorry I don’t see it.
    Second, bring it on honey!!!! I’ll take up the debate of working vs. stay at home any day. 🙂

    Comment by morethananelectrician | November 4, 2008 | Reply

  2. Scottie, you are as tough as nails! I don’t think you were out of line at all. People need to take responsibility!

    Thanks! I don’t know about being tough as nails…it just seems like common sense to me, that’s all. I agree;folks need to take responsibility for their kids. After all…THEY HAD THEM, not the daycare worker who gets paid minimum wage. It’s not as if I was telling her to quite her job or anything.

    Comment by Adam Riggins | November 4, 2008 | Reply

  3. Okay; so far we have one vote for my side of things and one vote in favor of the mom. Anyone else have an opinion here?

    Comment by Scottie | November 4, 2008 | Reply

  4. Whoa! You counted me on the wrong side…I just chose to butt out. Not only does Mrs. MTAE stay at home, but the two of us, in nine years have only been away from the family for a total of six hours.

    We are “crazy” on your side on this one, but you are “crazy” for picking that fight…I’m just sayin…

    Look…ya can’t ride the fence now. 🙂 Like you, most of the time I chooses to remain neutral on stuff—content to stay in my own little corner of the world. But when that corner gets invaded with something that I think is just plain stupid,then I tend to get a little bit big-mouthed. I mean if you aren’t in danger of loosing your job,getting demoted,loosing that fabulous parking spot the big-wigs have just given you, getting deported,or having your house foreclosed on then why not take one day off for a sick child? I’m just sayin….

    Comment by morethananelectrician | November 4, 2008 | Reply

  5. I must be a dinosaur also. ! I agree. When we were raising our children we were given this verse, “Therefore, I want younger women to get married, bear children, keep house and give the enemy no occasion for reproach”…I know, I know, pretty legalistic. That’s how we raised ours and I have never been sorry. I realize that there are times when mothers have to go to work. i understand that.But that responsibility of the kids must be ours.
    Love you girl. I’m proud you are my friend. You are honest and protective of your fold. Lord bless you.
    Barb

    Yeah! another one for the ‘good’ side! I can understand having to work—my sister was a single mom and had to work to put food on the table. But this was different.
    Most mothers I run across think that I’m just batty for my views. But I’m beginning to see that I’m not alone. Thanks Barb…love ya too girl

    Comment by 6justmyopinion | November 4, 2008 | Reply

  6. Well, I’m not a dinosaur and I don’t have kids so my opinion probably doesn’t count for much since I’ve never been there. But, I agree with you. If your kid is sick that should be priority #1. On the flip side, I’ve had co-workers that have kids that are CONSTANTLY sick and they take time off to be with them. While good for you for being with your kids, that’s annoying and slows production at work. So I don’t know, if you want or need to work great. Just make sure your kids are taken care of and healthy.

    I’m beginning to see what MR. MTAE was talking about—If one is not careful, blogging about stay at home mothers vs. those that do work can be suicide. I could go off on a HUGE tangent here, but I won’t. 🙂 Thanks for your input, Blue.
    My friend is a quiet, shy kinda person, and In her case I believe that she was just intimated by her twin boys. They can be wild at times and seemingly out of control and she doesn’t know how to handle that. Having to deal with a sick child AND those two was more than she wanted to take on especially without backup.

    Comment by bluesuit12 | November 5, 2008 | Reply

  7. I’ve done both, work full time and be stay at home mom…either way, Kids come first. End of story.

    Like your blog, BTW. 🙂

    Yeah, I’ve done both also and in the long run, if you don’t take that one day off you’ll end up taking lots of half days off picking the kid up from daycare and bringing him home because he’s still sick—-and they don’t want’em when they are like that. Although most probably that is where the kid got sick in the first place…..I’m just sayin
    Thanks for stopping by! Glad I could make you laugh…..

    Comment by joz1234 | November 5, 2008 | Reply


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