A Southern Fried Mess

Insanity is a southern necessity…

Let the crazyness begin!

A person in general, any person, usually comes equipped with at least half a brain—you know, smarts…intelligence.  But put a bunch of people together and the collective group’s brain goes  straight out the window. They panic about everything and begin acting irrational.  A group of chickens with their heads cut off  have a better grip on reality than the collective group does.

It’s nearing the Labor Day holiday here and there’s a hurricane coming—Where? we don’t know for sure; it’s not even in the Gulf of Mexico yet.  And to add to all this chaos,  LSU plays their first college  football game this weekend ( and we all know how southerners like their football).  I’m afraid, though, that all this excitement has proven  too much for the average group to handle.

Already there are long lines at the gas pumps down at the corner store.  People trying to fill up their motor homes and veheciles with propane and gas. Hotels in the three surrounding towns have already been booked to capacity with no vacancy in sight…two days ago. I watched one lady at the store grab at least ten cans of corn off the shelf in one swoop as she went by, and another one fill her buggy with as many gallon jugs of water as it would hold.  Only to watch her panic afterward and grab two more.

All the bottled water is gone. The charcoal and the bread aisles are on their way  to meeting the same fate.  Last year, I actually watched two old ladies in their late seventies fight over a smashed loaf of french bread. Stock boys were called in to separate them. It wasn’t pretty, people. Wigs were disheveled and makeup smeared.

And  store owners are laughing all the way to the bank as they fuel this insanity. Out comes giant displays of batteries—which I’m sure are all gone by now.  The candles are all gone too…even the little birthday cake ones. Truck loads of generators are brought out and sold at a so called ‘low’ prices down at the home improvement store. Announcements are shouted over the loud speakers that the water truck has just arrived at the back door and it will be first come first served.

Officials of the state have already sounded the horn and told people to start panicking getting prepared for the storm… which  may or may not even be headed in our direction, keep that in mind. They’ve also begun raising the oil prices in anticipation of the impending catastrophe.

My husband and I find all of this to be quite funny and we make jokes about it.  But in reality, it’s sad. Get a grip people! Take one thing at a time. Go and enjoy your tailgating parties and football game. Go and BBQ some hamburgers or some of those four hundred packs of  hot dogs that you just bought at the hurricane sale, for Labor Day.  Relax. Breathe. Take things in stride. Why not break open one of those 20 dozen bags of chips you have stashed in your cabinets and have yourself a little snack.

As the storm approaches, I’ll keep y’all informed. If you  will excuse me now, I have to go and join the mass- group of panicking people. Why? Because  I see we only have 1o cans of peas in our pantry and I feel compelled to go and fight someone over another 15 cans at the local store.


August 28, 2008 - Posted by | family, fitness, food, humor, kids, life, Uncategorized | , ,


  1. I was just laughing about this exact thing. Gustav is the hot topic at work, along with which store is still stocked with water. Kinda strange that Katrina hit exactly this time of year 3 years ago. I wonder if that has added to the panic. I still haven’t picked up my hurricane supplies so I’ll be in Wal-Mart in the wee hours of the morning sometime this weekend. I’ll probably end up having to settle for a few cans of tomato paste and asparagus or something like that……

    Good luck! Wal-mart where I live was completely out of toilet paper already. TOILET PAPER! What the??. I guess people figure they better have all the bases covered….

    Comment by Eirene | August 29, 2008 | Reply

  2. At least the peas won’t spoil…the batteries will not last forever!

    I gave in to the hysteria this year and actually bought batteries…for what I don’t know. We don’t have any functioning flashlights. DOH!

    Comment by morethananelectrician | August 29, 2008 | Reply

  3. This gets me every time there is a panic over a possible natural disaster. I don’t get why people don’t learn and start building up a food storage so the next time there’s no need for panic. Not that I have one because I figure I only have to look out for me but my mom has a great one. Hmm, maybe I should swipe a few cans to take back with me after my visit is over…

    we always try to build up a stash before all the loonies come out, but usually the kids just end up eating it all before the hurricane hits. This year I threatened the kids if they touched the food. So far so good, but I did see my hubby eyeballing the chips last night. I’d better go hide them in a different spot.

    Comment by bluesuit12 | August 29, 2008 | Reply

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