A Southern Fried Mess

Insanity is a southern necessity…

You’ve got to be kidding…

Those were my exact words when we pulled up to the driveway our rented cabin for the week (of vacation, that is).  I looked around at the kids, the luggage scattered around the car, my husband, and the at the mere fact that we were in a minivan. The driveway was a straight shot up…at like a 90 degree angle. “There’s no way…”  I mumbled as I re-read the email our landlord had sent us.

Yes, she did mention that the driveway was steep and that it would be better to take the one to the right as it was easier to maneuver on ( the driveway made a circle of sorts). ” HEAVENS; What was that woman thinking?!”

“I think we can make it.”  That was my hubby’s reply as he backed the minivan down the road a bit (we were already on a steep incline on the mountain road..did I mention that?), dropped the vehicle into low gear, yelled hang on, and took off.

We didn’t make it. Halfway up the hill the tires began slipping and we rolled back down the driveway.  Well, this didn’t sit well with my hubby’s ego. He was not gonna be beaten by a driveway.  The challenge had been made; the very essence of his manhood at stake. So he backed down the road even further, dropped the engine into REALLY low gear, put on his game, and then floored it.

We made it this time. But only after peeling out in the roadway (giving the neighbors something to laugh about, I’m sure), flying up the driveway like a rocket heading into outer space, taking the 360 degree turn near the top like a deranged rollacoaster, and coming to a rest on a dime before we plummeted to our deaths( not really) as the driveway made it’s very, very steep decent downward.

I think I prayed. Yes, I’m sure that I did pray…really, really hard…really, really loud… and really, really fast.

The kids had a blast and wanted to do it again. People in other countries pay to go on rides like this, ya know. Hubby apparently had fun too because he was wearing a smile across his face that stretched further than the Mississippi. And just for a moment—the tiniest of moments—he had the look in his eyes as if he wanted to do it again. I quickly jumped out of the vehicle before I became trapped.

Did I mention that the driveway was paved with loose limestone?

I know, I know…you don’t believe me. But I figured as much. So I  grabbed my camera and braved the ‘cliff of death’, I mean driveway, and walked staggered to the bottom of it to take a picture for all you readers. I lost my footing a few hundred times (but somehow manged to stay upright), and It only took me 20 minutes to hike back up the darn thing.

Moral of the story:  Minivans should come equipped with 4wheel drive…. and maybe a towing package wouldn’t hurt either.


(Actually this doesn’t do it justice. It was the driveway from hades, I tell ya, HADES!  BTW, that’s our minivan at the top…way, way, way up  there…..)


August 6, 2008 - Posted by | family, fitness, humor, kids, life, photography, religion, Uncategorized |


  1. Yikes that’s quite the driveway. But the surroundings look beautiful!!

    Only at the end of our stay did I feel brave enough to drive down the hill by myself. Hubby rounded up all the kiddies together on the porch, grabbed the camera, and proceeded to tell our brood, “Ya’ll come watch mommy crash the car.” I didn’t crash, but just about peed in my pants as I went down.
    It was really pretty to watch the sun set in the mountains from the front porch. (Have pics..will post later)

    Comment by bluesuit12 | August 6, 2008 | Reply

  2. Very funny story. Nice cabin though!!!

    The cabin was really cool and the kids enjoyed it immensely. Thanks for stopping by and reading!

    Comment by Paul | August 6, 2008 | Reply

  3. Wow….Did it have a good view? Looks very scary…
    Glad you made it..
    Barb ( http://6justmyopinion.wordpress.com)

    It had a wonderful view of the Blue Ridge Mountain tops and was very peaceful. I heard the wind blowing in the trees and at first I didn’t know what it was. All you hear where I live is traffic noise.

    Comment by 6justmyopinion | August 7, 2008 | Reply

  4. That place would be fun in the snow and ice.

    The owner had a disclaimer/warning that she was not responsible for damaged vehicles due to the driveway. She even went so far as to put in bold print that it would be better in inclement weather to park at the bottom, but provided the Ice salt just in case you were stupid enough to try. We had fun just trying to maneuver it in the rain….

    Comment by morethananelectrician | August 7, 2008 | Reply

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