You know you’re living in Redneckville when the guy installing your septic system breaks the main pipe leading out to the street, duct tapes it back together (yes,that’s right DUCT TAPE—MacGuyver would be proud!), covers it with two feet of dirt, and then fails to mention it to anyone. Leaving your brand new, super large capacity tank to fill for two years with mud so that the system can back up into your house. Which in turn, finally cost you (me) hundreds of dollars for another bubba to come and fix it.
If the FBI (yes; once again, you are correct in reading. I said FBI) wasn’t looking for him, I would be with a baseball bat! Seems he was running some kinda of scam. Go figure…
By the way, my mother-in-law was fully aware but never mentioned any of this when she sold us the house two years ago. Hmmm….
Categories: family · life
One pair of glasses at the bottom of the clothes hamper. (Now why didn’t I think to look there this morning when my son said he couldn’t find them?)
One coupon for Swiss Miss Coca mix in daughters pants pocket.
One alligator tooth in my youngest son’s bed. (Doesn’t everybody keep one there?)
One dumbbell made of petrified corn on the cob under the tv cabinet in our game room.
One harder-than-diamonds, half eaten biscuit behind the sofa cushion next to the remote control that disappeared over a month ago.
Two sippy cups filled with milk or rather what resembles milk (that you couldn’t pay me enough money to open ) under the sofa.
A black, half eaten banana still in it’s casing, nesting in the cabinet where my pots and pans go. I thought it was alive at first. I swear it made a move for my hand…
Dental floss in my toilet. Hope it remembered to floss under the rim…
A mouse caught in a glue trap, trying desperately to get back in his mouse hole while still holding the piece of poptart in his mouth that he found.
A stray sock in my dryer that has been missing in action for weeks now…I’m not washing sock at the moment either. Not sure where it came from, but I think my dryer feels sorry for me and gave back one of the items it stole. I will let you know after I debrief the sock.
Categories: family · food · kids · life
